There’s something about being both a Soft AND Solid woman that I couldn’t comprehend until I experienced the limitations of being too much of either, and the impact it had on both how I show up and on how I bring into my life what I want and deserve. And until I let myself fall apart, 100 piece’s on the floor in front me…
I didn’t quite understand how my default ability to be solid really met my desire to be soft, where my desire to be firm, intolerant and a stubborn guardian of my boundaries met my desire to be warm, deeply connected and open-hearted. Part of me wants to be an intolerant, steadfast, practical, ambitious, ultra resilient and business-focused alpha-female. Part of me wants to be a soft, loving, ultra-feminine and warm beta-female. For a long time these were a paradox of sorts to me…
And then I asked, why choose?
The Soft and Solid woman knows she can be both.
She can be solid in the core of who she is and what she stands for. She can be the one place that she can go to for confirmation of her worth. She doesn’t abandon herself for the sake of pleasing others. She can wake each day with a fierce sense of ambition and do what needs to get done. She can bet on herself and be as independent as any. She can be practical and resilient. She can be the strongest guardian of her boundaries – clear on what she will and will not tolerate…and she will likely tolerate less than most.
She can be soft in letting herself fall apart without judgment and be held by others in those times. She can live with an open-heart and can love deeply without losing herself. She can let herself be seen and ask for the support that she needs. She can sit with the depth of another’s human experience without jumping into the pond with them; she can be intimate with her own and others emotions.
She can speak with conviction and kindness.
She can stand her ground and have an open-heart.
She can love business and meditation.
She can fall down and pick herself back up and is always open to rising as a more powerful woman than before.
She knows not everyone she meets will adore her but those that do choose to engage with her will treat her well.
I love what Danielle LaPorte said when she said, “Open Heart, Big Fucking Fence.”
I’ll let Soft and Solid be my reminder for now.